1.- Practice having a conversation with a friend.

Starting a conversation with loved ones about your final wishes can be intimidating and overwhelming. Many people feel unable to approach this sensitive subject with their family and friends, afraid of causing distress for themselves and others. Yet doing so can in fact help immensely, providing peace of mind for all involved. 

Talking about death can understandably be difficult. However, as uncomfortable and upsetting the conversation may be, preparation for your funeral is so important. At the heart of preparation, is good communication.

2.- Choose an appropriate time and place to have the conversation.

I’d always suggest that you start by choosing a suitable time and place to have the conversation. This may mean arranging a special time for your family to come and visit, finding a window when young children are able to be elsewhere, a quiet walk with a partner or holiday. Sometimes milestones like a birthday or anniversary are good opportunities to spark a conversation.

3.- Write down the most important things you want to talk about.

Spend time prior to the conversation deciding what you want to say. Sometimes it can help to write out your ideal plans for your funeral beforehand, or even practice having the conversation with a close friend. This can help you overcome any initial nerves or concerns, allowing you to open up and express how you really feel.

After initial conversations have taken place, you may like to prepare a checklist to cover the details discussed. These details and nuances can often be forgotten after an emotional conversation, but by putting in writing and sharing with your family, you can rest assured that your family is clear about your wishes.

4.- This is the first of many conversations.

( Remind yourself that this is a constantly evolving discussion that will get easier as time goes on.)

5.- Be patient. 

End of life issues are difficult to discuss for many people. Some need more time than others to feel comfortable with the conversation, so be patient, not pushy.

6.- Be a good listener.

 Make a conscious effort to hear and understand what your loved one is saying. These moments, although difficult, is important and special to both of you.